JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-28

• See the ER Rap video (coming from an ED near you!) http://www.journalofnursingjocularity.com/ #
• Straight from the chart: Patient has no past history of suicides. #
• @pennyross66 Welcome aboard! So share some funny healthcare stories from Ireland! Send to info@JournalOfNursingJocularity.com #

JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-27

• medical daffynition: Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. #

JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-26

• Sharing humor w/ pts makes them more human to us (not the gall bladder in room 204). Do you think that’s too scary for some professionals? #
• @tonyadam Great session @ Gravity Summit. Your input will help our magazine reach our peeps! Thanks! #

JNJ on Twitter

• Supporting future nurses w/ the gift of humor. Know any students? http://tinyurl.com/cdv686 #
• Medical daffynition: Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. #
• Medical daffynition: Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. #
• From pt’s chart: “Patient may look like Santa Claus, but he is very mean and not at all jolly.” http://tinyurl.com/akng3k #
• Matt swallowed all the tiles from his Scrabble set. Doctors said the problem will work itself out, but not in so many words. #
• “Varicose veins are the result of the improper selection of grandparents.”
  William Osler, MD #

JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-25

• “Varicose veins are the result of the improper selection of grandparents.”
  William Osler, MD #

JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-24

• Matt swallowed all the tiles from his Scrabble set. Doctors said the problem will work itself out, but not in so many words. #

JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-23

• From pt’s chart: “Patient may look like Santa Claus, but he is very mean and not at all jolly.” http://tinyurl.com/akng3k #

JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-20

• Medical daffynition: Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. #

JNJ Twitter Updates for 2009-02-19

• Medical daffynition: Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. #

The No Nonsense Nurse

 When my mom was admitted for triple bypass heart surgery, I never imagined that she would experience a sex scandal during her stay.

She was in the Cardiac ICU immediately following her surgery. It was a single room. Our family enjoyed coming to visit her in that setting. After a week, she was moved to a shared room. I called to see how she was getting along with her new roommate. “Is she nice?” I asked.

“No.”

“No?”

“She won’t say a word to me and her husband’s acting rude,” Mom said. I could hear their television blasting in the background. “I’ll tell you more later.”

Later that night, around 2:30 a.m., Mom awoke to the nurse shouting, “What do you think you’re doing? You can’t do that.” Mom was confused. The room was dark. She realized that the couple in the room were in bed together, and they weren’t sleeping. The distance between the beds was less than four feet. Only a curtain separated them.

“You have to leave the room right now,” the nurse continued. “I don’t care where you go––the waiting room, the lounge––but you’re not staying here.” The man mumbled that they had asked for a private room, as if that justified his actions.

The nurse shamed him. “How would you feel if this was your wife lying here and a couple were carrying on in the next bed?” He admitted he wouldn’t like it. Reluctantly, he left.

An hour later, Mom awoke to the nurse’s voice again, telling the roommate that they had found a private room. Several staff entered with flashlights and gathered her belongings onto a cart. It took three trips. At last, they wheeled the roommate out of the room.

The next day, the nurse asked Mom, “Do you remember me? I was only here for four hours.”

“I remember,” Mom said with a chuckle.

The nurse smiled with a gleam in her eye, as if to let her know that she was the one who took care of business.

by Jeff Funk

Jeff Funk is a freelance writer who lives in Auburn, Indiana. Visit his website at http://www.JeffFunk.com

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