Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for nurses!

Aries

You’re going to be three nurses short of a full staff this week, Aries, with a full census of patients who have had the call button surgically attached to their finger.  Yet this won’t be the stressful part: internal conflict and tension take up most of your attention.  An old flame may reappear, especially on the 23rd.

Taurus

Sensitive Taurus may be frustrated to discover that the minute you’ve gotten your wandering patient back into bed, another patient will discover an exciting new medication allergy he’d never had before. Be flexible as possible: life will return to normal on the 22nd.  What? You say this is normal? Then it’ll be smooth sailing for you!

Gemini

Although this week will be much better than last week, Gemini, you’re still experiencing some cloudy thinking and confusion.  Trust us: the espresso mainline you’re considering? Not such a good idea.

Cancer

Unpredictable, impulsive, capricious — if anyone thought they knew you, Cancer, this is the week to set them straight.  Of course, this can make work a bit of a challenge.  Try funneling all of that nervous energy into tasks that don’t require a lot of working with others — maybe you could finally get all that charting caught up!

Leo

Go alienate someone right now, Leo — maybe you could call that pushy resident and have him clarify an order or see if you can book July 4th off, even though the charge nurse has just shared her plans for a huge family reunion her Great-Grandmother’s flying in from Bulgaria for. Once you’ve gotten that little hurdle out of the way, the rest of the week will be great!

Virgo

There’s a power struggle going on in your workplace, Virgo, and like a Machiavellian moth drawn to the flame, you can’t resist.  But you must, you must, you MUST stay out of it, for your emotional instability this week will not serve you well in complex machinations.

Libra

Why don’t anteaters get sick, Libra?

Because they’re full of anty-bodies.

Laugh at the stupid things this week, Libra.  You’ll have plenty of material to work with!

Scorpio

Scorpio, even the stars are saying you’re a little high maintenance this week.  Every caregiver needs care, it’s true — but if you focus on self-care to the exclusion of all else, others will lose their patience,

Sagittarius

Nose to the grindstone, Sagittarius finds vast rewards come to the diligent.  Well, vast rewards, or a really, really sharp nose.  Either way, you win…something.

Capricorn

Time out Capricorn.  No one can give 110% all the time — and you’ve been burning the candle on both ends for too long.  Too many double shifts, too much floating, too many demanding patients…whatever it is, give yourself some time and space to recharge this week.  It’s time.

Aquarius

A small mistake at the beginning of the week will trouble you unduly, Aquarius.  Remember: medicine is largely guesswork in white coats.  Awareness is key: focus on skills and by the end of the week, you’ll be yourself again.

Pisces

Image is everything, Pisces.  Don’t give into the temptation to share what’s been bothering you, not this week.  Confidence and authenticity are the order of the day, so if you don’t have them, start faking now!