Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Dear Nurse Marge,

So, there was this whole Balloon Boy caper, where supposedly a small boy was airborne in a spaceship-shaped air balloon that went careening through the Colorado skies. The boy wasn’t actually in there, and it all turned out to be a hoax.

Flights of Fancy

Dear Flights,

Did you forget that I too went to nursing school? It may have been a while, but I remember Jean Watson and to inflate the balloon after insertion, not before…but not a single solitary class on the weight-bearing qualities of experimental aircraft! Nice try, though — do that where the ‘civilians’ can hear, though, and they’re going to wonder why we can’t do something like ‘just authorize a few more refills on my prescription!’

Are nurses by nature more cynical? Absolutely not. That would imply that we were born this way, and completely overlook the years of experience, education, and most of all, repeated exposure to patients that helped us develop a cynical outlook on life. When you’ve seen multiple lacerations from a knife ‘no one noticed in the sink’ or accidental gunshot wounds that resulted from someone cleaning their gun — that got ‘em from behind! you become cynical. So many people walk into doors or accidentally induce alcohol poisoning that it’s hard to take any claims at face value. Why should a giant silver balloon be the most logical reason for a child to go missing?

It’s not cynicism.

It’s experience.

Good Luck!

Nurse Marge

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Libra

Respect is a reciprocal relationship. Hold firm to your boundaries in a week where doctors demand to be handled with kid gloves, patients tell you you’re the most sadistic being to ever walk the face of the planet, and there’s just nobody who can fill four understaffed shifts but you. Things improve marginally after Thursday, but it will be hard not to let the doctors get your goat.

Scorpio

More than three surprising things will happen this week, Scorpio! We hope you’re prepared. Remember that you don’t have to handle everything alone: draw on appropriate resources and share the load as much as possible.

Sagittarius

What’s worse, Sagittarius – a patient who unhooks everything to go for a smoke — or the one who comes back and tries to hook themselves back up before you notice? Understanding the full range of possibilities makes it easier to keep perspective in what is likely to be a rough week.

Capricorn

Watchful and wary, Capricorn has a week full of near-misses and what-ifs ahead. Clear communication is essential; there are parties who have their own agendas. Remember that when a visitor just ‘happens’ to have Grandma’s pills in their hand…

Aquarius

You’re surrounded by sick people this week, Aquarius — runny noses, high temperatures, horrid coughs as far as the eye can see — and that’s just your co-workers!

Pisces

Nothing bonds nurses like sharing anti-anxiety medications…I mean, chocolate and coffee! Look forward to a week full of bonding opportunities!

Aries

Memories dominate your stars this week, Aries: did you remember to sign out that chart? Did you remember to log that order? Did you remember to disable the call light in bed six? Keep track of the important details and life will be easier.

Taurus

There is only one thing you can control, Taurus, and that’s your attitude. Hold onto that through a week full of twists and turns, and you’ll be just fine.

Gemini

When in doubt, snap the incriminating picture of your NM when you see her out on the town. It makes getting that vacation time much easier. More ethical Geminis might choose to delete the pic — but you don’t have to let anyone know that, do you?

Cancer

Never underestimate the power of one well placed whoopie cushion to change the mood, Cancer. This week is your chance to shake things up a bit; create joy and laughter whenever possible. Your smile will make a difference.

Leo

What does a 375-pound, 6-foot tall male nurse do to stop others from ‘borrowing’ his stethoscope? Why, he gets one in bright pink! Innovative thinking appeals to creative Leo; go outside of the box to get your way!

Virgo

Fresh beginnings always cheer you up: If you can’t shake these doldrums, go to the nursery and check out all the babies. If that doesn’t do the trick, listen to them cry for a while — and rejoice that your patients at least can say what’s wrong!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!

Probing Questions: The perfect set-up for a nursing joke!

Okay, readers. This month I’m taking a risk. I need to discuss the concept of “probing questions,” but I’ve been around enough nurses to know that simply saying the word, “probing,” sends them off into a world OB nurses and proctologists know all-too-well.

Perhaps I could use the alternative term, “open-ended.” But, again, my mind jumps directly to hospital gowns.

This is a real distraction!

Jumping in, regardless: 6 core questions

Despite my mental images of all the take-offs you’re going to launch into, it is important that nurse educators be fully armed with one of the most powerful teaching techniques available for the professional educator: asking probing (open-ended/higher-order) questions. By open-ended, we mean those that cannot be answered by a simple yes/no or fact. By higher-order, we mean those that cause a person to think and to integrate a range of information in the generation of their answer.

Have you ever stopped to realize that there are only six types of questions? That’s right. SIX. Regardless of what words a person chooses to use, you are always trying to get at six questions or some derivative of them: who, when, where, what, how and why. (more…)

Thanks to Nurstoons! Make sure to check out their collection of hilarious cartoons!

A cowboy wandered into a doctor’s office to complain of his sore legs.

“I think you have phlebitis,” said the doctor.

“Plebites! There aren’t no fleas on me!”

Contributed by Kimberly M. Goebert. Do you have a favorite medical joke? Send it to Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com and we’ll share it with everyone!