Dear Nurse Marge,
I’m a new nurse, and as new nurses are wont to do, asked my preceptor how I could be doing better. She told me I could try moving a little faster, which floored me — it seems like I NEVER stop moving! How can I speed it up?
Signed,
Slow Poke in Philly
Dear Slow Poke,
Ah, the classic question from new nurses everywhere — how do I go faster? There’s so much to do, and it all has to be right, and that’s enough stress without the speed.
Efficiency experts will tell you that you can have two out of any three of the following qualities: fast, accurate, and inexpensive. Now, take a look at your paycheck. With what they’re paying you, you’re already committed to the inexpensive portion of the equation! That means you have to choose between right and fast.
Choose right. Speed will come in time.
Of course, if you’re impatient — and of course you’re impatient, this is a question about needing to go faster — may I recommend taking a trip to the local skate park for inspiration? Roller blades will fix all of your problems. You simply glide from call to call, zooming along at a million miles an hour, and if someone complains, you refocus them on the nifty new trick you’ve just learned. I’ve personally found that a great grind along the edge of the crash cart will leave even my most ardent critics speechless.
You may not be able to go faster. The trick then becomes LOOKING like you’re going faster. Some nurses call this multi-tasking, and I’ve noticed that it works best for them (as a diversionary tactic, I don’t know how well it works when it comes to actually getting things done) if they narrate everything they do as they do it. “And now, I’ve got to go pour Mr. X’s meds but first I have to check 224 and call Dr. J to clarify that order and sign up to cover the holiday and also schedule an appointment to have Wilbur, my prized Maltese Sheepherding Dog, trained to appear in the next Westminster show, which I’m fitting in after volunteering at the medic’s tent at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.”
If you trip them, they’ll fall down and create clearance in the hallway, allowing you to move past them. I guarantee it’ll look like you’re getting things done faster once you’re IN FRONT of these multi-tasking nurses. You’ll be traveling faster than the speed of sound, and who can complain about that?
Good Luck!
Nurse Marge
