Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Aquarius

Your medical knowledge isn’t enough to cure the virus that’s crashed the computer system, Aquarius. Frustrations with technology help you bond with colleagues that normally infuriate you. This may be a sign of the apocalypse, but the system will likely be back on line before you know for sure. Proceed with caution.

Pisces

This would be a good week to announce your intention to withdraw from the world and ponder one of life’s great mysteries: why would one ever use a denture cup when there’s so many lovely discarded dirty napkins available?

Aries

Some weeks are simply awesome. Some weeks are to be watched out for. This week is a mix of both. Hold your head high and watch where you step. At the same time. That one puddle there looks rather slippery.

Taurus

There’s been an outbreak of Hospital/Hotel Confusion Syndrome running rampant among your patients this week. Surprisingly, a cure is discovered the very minute you look for a tip!

Gemini

The brightest star in the sky shines directly on you this week. Like an X-Ray from heaven. Where’s your lead vest?!

Cancer

Who needs to watch soap operas when you have visiting hours? This week presents you with drama, pathos, tension, reconciliation, a surprise baby — all you need know is a wedding to take place just outside the OR doors! The hubbub dies down midweek, but will likely pick up again in sweeps season.

Leo

Every day brings you one step closer to your dreams, and two steps closer to your fears. Learn hopscotch.

Virgo

Money will not solve all your problems this week so… no we’re kidding, it totally would.

Libra

This is a week of reflection for you, but don’t blame the mirror for what you see. Blame the vending machine — and perhaps the remnants of that birthday cake that was left at the nurse’s station.

Scorpio

Watch out for flying bedpans this week. Not thrown, mind you. Flying. Yeah. It’s like that We’re not sure who (or what!) you’ve irritated, but this week will be supernatural!

Sagittarius

If you work enough double shifts this week you may see your dreams come true. Then again you may be so tired you see all sorts of interesting things. Hallucination is fun.

Capricorn

Do not search for hidden meaning in the charts this week. You missed it. That was last week. Didn’t we… oh, we forgot. Sorry.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Don’t rely upon Suzanne to help you make the right life decisions. Nope. She just gazes up into the sky, and this is what emerges. You’ll note the lack of responsible financial advice, relationship guidance, professional wisdom or anything else vaguely helpful.