Horoscopes just for Nurses!
Pisces
Asking “What were you doing to that dog before he bit you?” may not be part of the standard rabies control protocol, Pisces, but this week, you might understand why it should be. Congratulations on another successful week saving humanity from itself.
Aries
If the patient calls to see if the ER is ‘too busy’ before they come in with their emergency, the only possible answer is “Oh my God a bus just crashed through the front door hold on!” Or so I’m told. You would never do such a thing, would you, Aries?
Taurus
There are questions in this world you don’t want the answers to, Taurus. Like why someone would want the foreign object retrieved from an uncomfortable location back — they didn’t want it when they had it! But if you get an answer to that mystery, let us know.
Gemini
If a patient has a vowel obstruction, does that mean they can’t say A, E, I, O, or U?
Cancer
Weighty issues have been on your mind, Cancer. Whether it’s your own personal quest for fitness or your own personal quest for a patient-turning strategy that works on people who weigh more than your car, you’ve been doing some heavy thinking. Stop it and go for a walk.
Leo
Taking histories is a special delight for you this week, Leo, as you learn that your patient has no previous history of suicide.
Virgo
Word play delights you, and you spend much of a shift musing aloud if something that’s been bothering someone for six years can truly be deemed an emergency.
Libra
If you remove the pizza the NPO patient had delivered from his room, is it REALLY wrong to swipe a piece,or REALLY REALLY wrong? Does it matter if it’s double pepperoni with extra cheese? This week will be full of moral quandries, Libra, try to stay strong.
Scorpio
If you’re a psychiatric nurse, Scorpio, nothing this week will seem the least bit unusual.
Sagittarius
This week, you have a chance to introduce a patient to that radical new health care innovation: SOAP! Future generations will have to see if the trend toward cleanliness is anything more than a fad, but the roommate is pretty happy with you.
Capricorn
A surprise encounter will have you rethinking your entire career path. Be careful on Wednesday.
Aquarius
Feelings of sorrow and regret plague the beginning of the week, but give way to the wonder of realizing you really do make a difference midweek.
Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY!
