Are you a wise *ss? Test Your Bowel IQ!

Take this simple quiz to find if you are truly a wise *ss!

1. The adult human has approximately ____ feet of large intestine.

a)      3 feet

b)      6 feet

c)      9 feet

2. The adult human has approximately ____ feet of small intestine.

a)      11 feet

b)      15 feet

c)      21 feet

3. The blue whale, the largest mammal on earth, has about ____ feet of large intestine and small intestines combined.

a)      200 feet

b)      400 feet

c)      600 feet

4. What percentage of folks at forty have a colon polyp?

a) 20 percent

b) 40 percent

c) 60 percent

5. How many calories do you consume on licking a stamp?

a)      0.1 calorie

b)      1.0 calorie

c)      10 calories

6. How far from the toilet do dentists recommend that you store your toothbrush, to avoid ‘airborne particles’ resulting from the flush?

a)      At least six feet

b)      At least nine feet

c)      Store the toothbrush either covered or in another room.

7. The name of the Roman god or goddess of poop was:

a)      There wasn’t one

b)      Vesuvius

c)      Cloacina.

8. The reason that the platypus is considered a unique mammal is:

a)      It has a feathers and a bill, but is not a bird

b)      It can breathe underwater, but has no gills.

c)      It has combined sex organs and rectum

9. How long would you need to continuously pass wind in order to generate methane gas with the energy of an atomic bomb?

a)      6 years and 9 months

b)      12 years and 3 months

c)      25 years

10. When was the flush toilet invented?

a)      Thomas Crapper, England, mid 1800s

b)      William Flushington, England mid 1600s

c)      Unknown inventor, Crete, 2000 BC

Bonus Point:

11. The 19^th century French performer Petomaine was world famous for:

a)      Belching music, including the French national anthem, while dancing

b)      Eating metal objects (his claim to fame was in eating a bicycle, piece by piece, then passing it and later reassembling it)

c)      Playing a flute inserted in his rectum.

Answers (no peeking!)

1)      B

2)      C

3)      B

4)      B

5)      A

6)      A

7)      C

8)      C

9)      A

10)  C

11)  C

Score

1-3 I’m so sorry… you really are a dumb-*ss

4-6 You have an average *ss.

7-9 You are a smart *ss, and may practice GI.

9-11 You are a wise *ss. Seek professional help immediately.