Horoscopes just for Nurses!
Pisces
Try to eliminate unnecessary tasks from your week, Pisces. Some things, you just don’t need to bother with. If you have trouble figuring this out, consult with the teenaged boy who comes to the ER having ‘sampled’ Dad’s Viagra…
Aries
Learning to ‘let it go’ is good. Practicing ‘letting it go’ while moving the patient…not so good!
Taurus
If all your colleagues are under 5′, are you short staffed? This week will give you an opportunity to ponder what words REALLY mean.
Gemini
Optimistic Gemini is sure that being a floating nurse involves a lovely pool in the Caribbean. Maintain your boundaries fiercely and don’t let anyone disillusion you about this: trust us, you won’t like what THEY think it means.
Cancer
You’ve got a drug book in your pocket, and your colleague has Twilight in hers. We recommend therapeutic application of the forehead to the nearest flat surface. We’ll let you decide exactly who’s forehead is used.
Leo
When the patient wants to be transferred to the Acute floor because ‘they have better looking nurses there, duh!’ remember that it’s not technically OK to adjust his physical condition to make the transfer appropriate. This will be difficult for Leo, who can generally resist anything EXCEPT temptation.
Virgo
Instead of putting tracking devices on nurses, Virgo, what would happen if they went on people who are really hard to find: say that doctor who NEVER answers his pages, the mysterious disappearing sitter, or your patient who is determined to go walkabout?
Libra
Some days it doesn’t pay to chew through the restraints, Libra! Tell your colleagues you’ve lost your teeth and you’ll be right here waiting for housekeeping to return them — and THEN you’ll be ready to leap right back into all of the action. With any luck, it’ll be a week or two before anyone realizes you don’t actually wear false teeth…
Scorpio
The Dali Lama said it best: Compassion is the radicalism of our time. Everyone is capable of compassion, and yet everyone tends to avoid it because it’s uncomfortable. Scorpio, who is more than down with uncomfortable, spends much of this week exploring compassion.
Sagittarius
When you get the patient who rages that “I pay your salary!” try pointing out that you’re really overdue for a raise and a benefits review. It won’t work, of course, but the look on their face is enough to make it worth it…especially as financial concerns loom large on the horizon.
Capricorn
If there’s such a nursing shortage, why are you surrounded with annoying colleagues? Maybe you could ship them somewhere where they’re NEEDED! Mind you, getting them in that Fedex box will be challenging. Not impossible, but challenging.
Aquarius
Every nurse goes through the phase of self-diagnosis, sure they’ve contracted something horrible from their patients. But Aquarius, it really, really, really helps if you remember gender precludes you from some conditions! Don’t stress EVERYTHING :-)
Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY!
