“I believe that everyone has a sense of humor. In some of this, that sense of humor was nourished and supported by our families. In others, that may not be the case.” Mary Kay Morrison is an expert on humor and education, and was recently the co-chair of the Association of Applied and Therapeutic Humor’s wildly successful conference, The Biology of Hope. “I like to compare developing your sense of humor with physical fitness: it’s something we have to work at until it becomes so natural it’s an everyday part of our lives.”
JNJ: There are people who are sure they don’t have a sense of humor. If someone’s not confident in their humor, if they don’t feel all that ‘fit’ when it comes to being funny, how do they start working out?
Mary Kay: I like to work with people and have them determine what their humor style is. What do they like to laugh at, what gives them joy, who are their favorite comedians? What is it particularly that you find funny – exaggeration or slapstick or puns?
Once you identify what you find funny, go with it. That’s your strength. You want to go with it. It’s like if you were starting an exercise routine and you really like to bike. You work biking into your routine, because you enjoy it and it’s fun. If you enjoy one type of humor — let’s say puns — you want to look for puns, and more than that, people who enjoy puns. Find a mentor who has a similar humor style, who can help you develop your humor.
JNJ: So you’re exposing yourself to what makes you laugh.
Mary Kay: Yes. Set humor practice goals with yourself. Maybe you’ll share a pun with one person every day this week.
JNJ: You may want to make sure it’s a different person each time!
Mary Kay: It’s about sharing the laugh. Can you bring a smile to someone’s face every day? After a while, you don’t have to think about it. It become automatic, a part of who you are.
JNJ: Are there reasons why people don’t use humor?
Mary Kay: Humor is risky. In my book, Using Humor to Maximize Learning: The Links between Positive Emotions and Education
JNJ: Sometimes the work we do, especially as nurses, makes it hard to find the funny.
Mary Kay: That’s so true. Carol Burnett said, “Comedy is tragedy plus time.” You need all of those elements to give you the distance it takes to step back and reframe the situation. You know you’re starting to heal from whatever tragedy or difficulty when you begin to laugh about it.”
There will always be those people I call ‘humor doomers’. They’re the type of people who will put you down for laughing, even if a good laugh is exactly what is needed in that situation.
JNJ: What do you do with humor doomers? I think every nurse reading this had someone instantly come to mind when you said that phrase!
Mary Kay: One thing I recommend is developing a phrase you can use as a response for these folks.
JNJ: Like, “I do this to amuse myself” or “On my planet, we laugh at things like this all the time!”
Mary Kay: Exactly. It really depends, of course, on the person and how well you know them. Sometimes you have to see these people every day. It’s hard to block that out of your psyche; you really need to make sure to up the joyful aspects of your life to balance that out.
And if it’s someone close to you, and there’s a time when it’s right, you may want to say “You really seem unhappy lately. Have you thought about getting some help with that?”
It’s important too to realize that not everyone is going to be comfortable with your humor style. I’m really an outgoing person, very into play, and even among my humor colleagues, I’ve seen the eyebrows go up. You have to be aware of your own energy.
JNJ: Your work centers on the use of humor in education. Nurses do a significant amount of teaching, from nurse educators who are training the next generation of nurses, to the patient education we do everyday. How can humor help us convey information more effectively?
Mary Kay: If we make people laugh, we’ll make them think. That’s critical. We don’t always remember what was said as much as we remember the emotional response to what was said. So if what we remember is positive, it helps put that information into long term memory.
Learn More About Mary Kay: Articles, resources, and lots of helpful links can be found on Mary Kay’s website: Humor Quest.
