Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Gemini

Medical expertise confronts you at every turn, leaving Gemini wondering why so many health and wellness experts need to see the doctor so often!

Cancer

Redundancy rules this week. Teenage boys sampling Dad’s Viagra provide the proof that you can have too much of a good thing. Excitement subsides after Thursday, or really, as soon as you can put some ice on that.

Leo

A lavender, gem-studded stethoscope may not be your style, Leo — but it won’t ‘wander off’ with such regularity, either!

Virgo

The teenage patient who can text 3,500 words a minute with a broken arm needs help wiping herself. Strangely, there’s no app for that!

Libra

That nice person you met on a rare night out clubbing seems strangely familiar – and then you remember wrestling them into restraints after an ETOH on board really bad day. So much for your social life, Libra!

Scorpio

Sleepy Scorpio has low energy this week — and having a patient wander off does provide such a comfy bed…

Sagittarius

L&D Sagittarians need to be kind and NOT let new parents know that delivering the baby is actually the easiest part of parenting.

Capricorn

Boy, you can always tell when a 1,000 Ways to Die marathon has aired, can’t you?

Aquarius

This week, you will see a surgeon apologize. Resist the temptation to build a shrine at the spot to commemorate the event — no one will believe you anyway!

Pisces

Proud Pisces keeps calm while others melt down. Your sudden allergic reaction to drama will serve you well this week.

Aries

Your creativity is pushed to the limit this week, Aries. Can you make emergency formal wear out of chux, tape, and a box of extra small gloves?

Taurus

If you’re a psychiatric nurse, Taurus, nothing this week will seem the least bit unusual.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY!

Tags: nurse horoscopes

This entry was posted on Monday, June 14th, 2010 at 6:59 AM and is filed under Games, Horoscopes, and Quizzes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.