Ah, July! The month starts off with a bang as firework displays illuminate Independence Day from coast to coast — a great show if you’re not working the night shift.
Of course, if you are working the night shift on the Fourth of July, you’re not going to miss out on all the fun. As a nurse, you know you’re in for a few explosions of your own: It’s almost guaranteed that the patient in bed 4 will power poop and projectile vomit at the same time. Fountains of festivity indeed, especially if they’ve eaten some patriotic colored goodies a few hours previously…in fact, if you find yourself collecting red, white and blue stool samples, be a sport, shut off the O2, and hand that guy a sparkler!
Scatalogical humor — the jokes about blood, bodily fluids, death and dismemberment — are certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. However, these types of laughs have a special place in the hearts of nurses. When you spend far more of your life than you’ve ever anticipated surrounded by liquids (or semi-liquids) that just moments ago were neatly contained within your patient, it takes a toll. Laughing alleviates some of this toll — and if you manage to laugh with a group of colleagues in an overly crowded restaurant at the right time, you’ll suddenly find the tables around you mysteriously clearing. Instant elbow room!
There’s a time and a place for everything, of course. Not everyone can appreciate a good poop joke. The anecdote that may have your fellow nurses rolling on the floor laughing (that’s old school for ROFL) may not go over so well at the family barbecue. That being said, it’s important to give yourself the freedom to laugh when you need to. Did your patient puke a puddle that looks just like Elvis in profile? Give in and giggle…and share the story with others who need the laugh as well. We all have our ‘war stories’, and sharing them strengthens the bonds we have with each other; something definitely needed in our profession now more than ever.
Haven’t heard a good poop joke lately? Here’s one to get started:
In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire.” And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, “You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?”
The male statue looked at the female and asked, “Do you want to do it again?”
Smiling, the female statue said, “Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I’LL poop on it’s head!”
