Horoscopes just for Nurses!
Cancer
Creative Cancer combines the attending doctor’s phone with a dog shock collar — if the call’s not returned in 5 minutes, ZAP! Okay, not really…but the idea’s worth raising at your next “Patient Satisfaction” meeting.
Leo
Let sleeping dogs lie, Leo – and if your pain level 14+ patient is snoring through the worst of it, well, perhaps that’s a sign.
Virgo
Make a student nurse’s day: explain why you don’t give the sleeping pill and laxative at the same time BEFORE they do so.
Libra
Isn’t it telling that doctors call what they do ‘practice’? Normally tactful Libra has a hard time holding their tongue this week, but remember: discretion is the better part of continued employment!
Scorpio
Make dietary’s day this week: call them to confirm that vegetarians can in fact eat animal crackers.
Sagittarius
Your future depends on your dreams, Sagittarius! You know what that means: naptime!
Capricorn
The family that sticks together should bathe more often! Capricorn has a challenging week, unless of course your sense of smell and gag reflex have already been removed.
Aquarius
Knock, knock, knock. Document, document, document. If someone tells you something three times, it’s clearly very important! So don’t forget, Aquarius, to knock on the door. Otherwise you’ll get an eyeful you’re just not ready for — and it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been a nurse!
Pisces
Requesting a consult for an exorcist may be justified, Pisces, but remember it won’t be a popular decision. Besides, you know they don’t take the patient’s insurance.
Aries
Forget the Barefoot Bandit: you want law enforcement to capture whoever’s been stealing all of the blankets from your unit. Somewhere, someone has a building crammed full of industrial bedding…and they strike ONLY when you need just one more pillow for the crankiest patient EVER!
Taurus
Your paranoia is absolutely no guarantee that they’re not out to get you, Taurus. Conspiracy theories are addictive: watch out that you don’t become a drama-seeker!
Gemini
Coastline nurses know sharks won’t attack lawyers: it’s professional courtesy!
Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY!
