Journal of Nursing Jocularity

My son, then three years old, stated “Mama, I got diarrhea.” I thought that was a big word for him, so I asked him to tell me what diarrhea meant. He said, “You know, that’s when your doodoo is kinda melted.”

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Years ago when I was a new grad, I worked on a med-surg floor. On one occasion, I had a confused patient recovering from hip surgery. She was Poseyed and frequently screamed. Loudly.

One evening, after listening to her for several hours, I tried all I knew to quiet her down. I gave up. I walked into her room, sat at her bedside, and looked her right in the eyes.

“Honey,” I said. “Stop screaming. You’re driving me to drink.”

She stopped screaming, patted me on the head, and said, “Oh, sweetheart. Don’t blame me for your drinking problem.”

I was at the nurses’ station when a patient’s wife passed by, carrying a large, apparently heavy cardboard box. A few minutes later, the patient’s call light went on. I went into the room and the patient asked me if I would give this box to the doctor. I must have looked puzzled.

The patient said, “He told me to have my wife bring in all my old records!”

A little 8 year old boy wanted to be circumcised when he realized he looked different than dad and his friends. The day after the proceedure he returned to school.

During class, he became uncomfortable and asked for permission to go to the nurse. When he arrived at her office, he hesitated and finally just asked if he could call his mother. Sensing this was personal (and having read the absence note for the previous day) the nurse stepped into the hall and closed the door to allow him privacy.

Several minutes later the little boy came out of her office and the nurse noticed his penis was sticking out of his pants.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Back to class,” said the boy.

“But you can’t go back like that!” explained the nurse.

“I have to,” stressed the boy. “My mother said that if I could just stick it out until lunchtime, she would come and pick me up.”

SCHOOL NURSES: It’s SUMMER! Send us your funniest stories about the year that was and we’ll share them with everyone! Email them to Cindy@journalofnursing jocularity.com

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

10. If it’s wet, make it dry.

9. If it’s dry, make it wet.

8. Always ask for on-call pay before agreeing to overtime.

7. Never tell management what you are really thinking.

6. Never finish report with, “You have an easy assignment”.

5. Never say, “This looks like a easy assignment”.

4. Don’t expect anyone to do their job – especially when you really need them to.

3. Don’t expect doctors to believe anything you tell them.

2. If you don’t have enough time to do everything, take 30 minutes to complain about it and then make it all happen.

1. If it moves, rattles, shakes, falls down, or won’t stay in place: tape it.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!