Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Capricorn

This week brings a rash of Christmas gift-induced injuries, Capricorn. You’ll find it hard to believe what people manage to do to themselves with a Snuggie!

Aquarius

Thou shalt not empty the bedpan into the annoying visitor’s conveniently open tote bag…no matter how much you want to!

Pisces

Poor Pisces! On the go, go, go this holiday season, you’re considering booking an international flight for the luxury of being ‘forced’ to remain in a seat for an hour.

Aries

Eager Aries loves a party — and the fact you’re working New Year’s Eve isn’t going to stop you from having fun. Strategic re-purposing of medical supplies can create that festive air and all your patients will LOVE being woken up just in time to ring in the New Year!

Taurus

Frustrations abound, but steady, stubborn Taurus remains eerily calm. If you can’t find something to freak out about, fake it…otherwise those diversion whispers are going to start!

Gemini

It’s a full moon Thursday, Gemini. If you start now, you might be able to build a secure bunker in the supply room just in time to hide out from all the ‘excitement’.

Cancer

Beware of administrators bearing gifts — there might be a lot of uncovered shifts you don’t know about…YET.

Leo

Perpetually perky colleagues are annoying — but when 80% of them call in, you find yourself longign for their smiling faces.

Virgo

You love making resolutions Virgo, but remember to be realistic! Being the perfect nurse, the perfect parent and the perfect romantic partner is quite a goal. Try picking just one of those and going easy on yourself.

Libra

Going to work gives you a much needed respite from the hustle and bustle of home. Sad but true!

Scorpio

A co-worker’s efforts to spread holiday cheer initially provokes your scorn, but your tune changes when you join in the fun. Half the joy comes from the shocked look on your colleague’s face!

Sagittarius

You missed out (barely!) on a Code Brown Christmas, but fret not: the year won’t end with you unsatisfied!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you. Ask your Mother instead. She loves to tell you what to do!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

The holiday season surrounds Sagittarius with good tidings and cheer — if only you could take a moment to stop and enjoy them! Midweek worries melt away as a special event approaches: relax, you’re stressing more than you need to.

Capricorn

No, Capricorn, that’s not Christmas fudge the new admit is covered in. Your optimism is a beautiful testament to the power of the holiday season, though!

Aquarius

They say nurses eat their young, and we know your tummy’s rumbling, but you’re making the unit nervous carrying around that bottle of barbecue sauce!

Pisces

At some point between Tuesday evening and Thursday afternoon, the continual holiday music being played in your facility will drive you completely bonkers, at which point you will have no alternative but to do a soft-shoe dance routine down the hall! Be prepared.

Aries

The truth will be revealed this week, Aries, and although you might not like it at first, it will turn out to be the best gift you get all season.

Taurus

Ever notice how the changes that are supposed to make your life easier, your charting faster, your patient satisfaction higher, and your thighs thinner actually make things more complicated in the long run? The trick is to design a system that would change everything back to the simple, efficient way you used to do things and then sell the administration on it…

Gemini

Frustration and anger disappears this week in a sudden burst of laughter. Invite joy into your life, and all the troubles that have been plaguing you will fall into their proper perspective. (Although calling in in order to watch the entire season of SCRUBS probably won’t endear you to your co-workers!)

Cancer

Is there a problem you can’t fix, Cancer? You’re called for all kinds of situations this week: TV remotes that don’t work, lights that burn out, spills in the hallway, clogged toilets, and more — and that’s before that silly life-saving stuff you call work!

Leo

On a rare moment away from work, a random stranger will ask you a deeply involved, very personal medical question. As much as it is an imposition on your time, it is your sworn duty to inform them of the 73,000 Deadly Serious Diseases that manifest exactly the symptoms being described and urge them to the hospital before their limbs fall off. If and when the patient sees you after the fact, deny ever having the conversation. This will perk up an otherwise relatively boring week.

Virgo

What do you know? They were out to get you. This week, you’ll be picking up the pieces of someone else’s mistake, correcting other people’s errors, and generally saving the day. It’s a good thing you’re Super Nurse!

Libra

Your charts are full of inspiration and artistic expression, Libra…that’s why you can’t stop singing carols all day long. But you might be rendered speechless by a surprising development on Thursday.

Scorpio

The newest non-invasive stress test? Mention to your patients that there’s only 11 days til Christmas! That’ll get that pulse rate right up! It’s Scorpio’s week for innovative health care techniques.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you.  Just soak up the absolutely astonishing entertainment value and you’ll be great .

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

Does fruitcake actually look any different after serving a stint as a bowel obstruction? Inquiring minds want to know, but if you’re lucky, Sagittarius, this week you’ll get to find out!

Capricorn

Your diagnostic skills save the day, Capricorn! Getting the vending machine running again saves the unit’s morale — good for you!

Aquarius

Once in a lifetime, everything runs perfectly as planned. That moment won’t be this week! Your grace juggling multiple tasks, soothing cranky doctors, and wrangling wayward patients will make it seem that way, though.

Pisces

Be careful, Pisces. Your ego has swollen like a pre-eclamptic patient with a potato chip addiction.  Rein in the self-praise before someone does it for you!

Aries

You’ve heard of a ‘gut instinct’? Nurses have a highly developed gut instinct — we can tell when all of the junk bubbling around in a patient’s belly is going to come out! This week, you’ll be very glad of your gut instinct!

Taurus

You thought you were ‘unshockable’ but you thought wrong, Taurus!  Exciting adventures had by others leave you shaking your head — but is that judgment or envy?

Gemini

Less is more, Gemini.  Except when it comes to Ativan.  Then more is good.

Cancer

Soft hearted Cancer is overwhelmed by emotion as the holidays creep closer.  Take time out to focus on the good times and enjoy yourself: it’s too soon to call a Code Blue Christmas!

Leo

It’s a good idea to cover your assets, Leo, but this week you’re forced to delve deeply and examine  your inner nature. It might be tense at first, but don’t worry — this too shall pass!

Virgo

Paranoia is not normally contagious, but you seem to have contracted quite a case, Virgo.  Shadowy conversations and conspiracy theories fill your thoughts.  Don’t take this as a sign that they’re NOT out to get you!

Libra

A colleague is feeling down, and you’re determined to cheer her up.  Before you go all Secret Santa on her, step back and see where you could lend a hand.  Friendly assistance is the gift she’d value the most!

Scorpio

Life’s too short for regret.  Scorpio finds herself fired up this week.  Your brash, take-no-prisoners, tell-it-how-it-is approach might not win you many fans, but things will get done.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you.  Really.  For true guidance, you want to examine the internal organs of black-feathered roosters.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

While “Too stupid to live” might be technically accurate, it’s not the most politically correct thing to write on your patient’s chart, Sagittarius. You’ll be happy you exercised restraint when you discover exactly who that idiot is related to!

Capricorn

There’s been an outbreak of Hilton Syndrome at your facility; that toxic, highly contagious condition that leads patients to believe they’re actually staying at a luxury hotel and not in a hospital. Symptoms include requests to plump up pillows, open and shut curtains, and make the room mate’s monitoring equipment beep less often (actually, if it’s not too much trouble, could you just shut that off…) Your patience will be tested, Capricorn, but you are made of stern stuff and shall do well, aside from one wobbly moment on Thursday.

Aquarius

Frustrations mount early in the week, Aquarius, and needless stupidity angers you. Mitigate stress by taking time out to do things that make you happy. A brief respite will provide the much needed recharge your batteries are longing for!

Pisces

Entitlement is the issue of the week, Pisces, as manifested by your very wealthy patient’s meltdown when you have no medication samples to give them. Make it work for you: after listening to that nonsense, you’re surely entitled to a quick ten minute break to restore your sanity!

Aries

This week provides you with an opportunity to educate your fellow nurses. How else would they know you can do a triple somersault after slip-sliding through a puddle housekeeping ‘missed’ and still land on your feet? I don’t know if they’re going to believe your claim that you did an assessment at the same time, but it’s worth a shot!

Taurus

Six romantic proposals this week, Taurus, and only five of them from people who didn’t realize those gowns can actually be tied closed… You’re the belle (or babe!) of the ball.

Gemini

Cleanliness is next to Godliness…so the next time you go on a mission to find some kind, any kind, of cleaning supplies for the unit, try looking next to the chapel! If they’re not there, perhaps they’re sold in the store down the road from the Church or Synagouge. It’s worth a shot…

Cancer

When the patient presents with an ambition deficiency, a list of convenient allergies, and nebulous, unspecified pain, you get one point. When they tell you they’re allergic to male nurses (if they’re male) or female nurses (if they’re female), it’s another point. And so on and so on, until they’ve accumulated enough points to win a free trip back home! (Or your shift ends, whichever comes first!) If anyone questions your score-keeping, tell them Bravo is filming you for a new reality TV show.

Leo

Negativity swirls around your facility this week, Leo, but you’re not going to buy into that. You’re going to walk away from the gossip, side step the back biting, and ignore all of the nonsense. Or you’re going to learn to be really, really discreet. One of those two things will definitely happen.

Virgo

Just because you’re paranoid, Virgo, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. Document, document, document. Tape record reports and double check EVERYTHING. Once you’ve driven everyone around you crazy, you’ll be fully qualified to take on a fact-position for a major media outlet. We hear Fox news needs someone.

Libra

Appearances are deceiving, true, but sometimes it’s okay to trust your judgement. This week will present you with an interesting opportunity to put this to the test. (Yes, we’re talking about selecting snacks from the unit holiday party…what did you think we were talking about?)

Scorpio

As much as your fellow nurses are annoying, it’d be nice to SEE some of them as you run from call light to call light, crisis to crisis. Understaffing makes it easy to appreciate other’s good sides and ignore those annoying traits. So when everyone gets over the flu/vacation/holidays/the economic downturn, make sure you let them know how much you appreciate them!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you.  Really.  For true guidance, you want the i Ching.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

We know you’re silver tongued, Sagittarius, but this week, you’ll find your foot firmly in your mouth if you’re not careful! Communications prove to be troubling until Thursday, at which point much will become clear.

Capricorn

Fears crop up from a long-forgotten corner, Capricorn; anxiety and self-doubt plague every decision. That is until you remember to consider the source of your loudest critics — and the fact they think the hospital is REALLY just like Scrubs!

Aquarius

Logistical triumphs mark your week, Aquarius: who else can dispense meds, track down a wandering patient, get a doctor to clarify an order, answer the call button nineteen times, and re-start the IV pump the visitor shut off for being ‘too loud’ all in the first twelve seconds of a shift?

Pisces

It must be Thanksgiving, Pisces: You’re surrounded by turkeys!

Aries

The unexpected is so usual that you consider even the strangest day routine, Aries, but this week something will happen that will shatter your usual aplomb. Make sure to knock on every door and announce yourself before pulling back every curtain, just to be sure!

Taurus

This week presents you with the opportunity to make exciting self-discoveries, Taurus. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? (Yes, we’d run and hide too…)

Gemini

This holiday season, you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who think your life is either exactly like “Mercy” or “Scrubs” Confuse them by acting out the funny bits of the former and the sexy bits of the latter.

Cancer

Studies DO say that having companion animals speeds recovery times. Lucky you has the patient who decides to test the theory with a head full of crawly little companions. Let’s see if they get well before you get ill!

Leo

It’s amazing, isn’t it, Leo, how the same family members who hadn’t seen Granny in years are now incensed it might take you a minute to respond to her call?

Virgo

You know you’re getting older when your first thought upon hearing about Sketcher’s new line of nursing shoes was not “What do they look like?” but “How comfortable are they?” This week will be full of similar distressing moments of self-knowledge.

Libra

A passionate love affair is beginning on your unit. Everyone knows, but no one wants to say. You can see it in their eyes…the sideways glances, the raised eyebrow. It’s just not natural for someone to be *that* fond of the coffeepot!

Scorpio

Almost every nurse cares for someone famous over the course of this career. This could be your week as the world’s most famous catfish wrangler and professional contortionist needs care.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Scorpio

You will be filled with the uncontrollable urge to do one silly thing this week, Scorpio. Better do it early and get it right out of the way. Do a silly thing TODAY. If that urge comes back tomorrow, well, give in to it, and that should cure the problem. Really. Nothing in your stars mentions ridiculous walks, animal imitations, or dancing in the hallway…honest…we mean it…

Sagittarius

Security weighs heavy on Sagittarius’ mind this week; anxiety abounds. Resist the temptation to pile on extra hours: burn yourself out and you won’t be doing yourself any favors. This tension will pass as the season changes.

Capricorn

An unexpected visitor will cause chaos and upset…it’s difficult to tell from here if that means patients, inspectors, or celebrity guests, but you’d better try to be ready!

Aquarius

You know how they say there’s no such thing as a dumb question? This week you’ll discover why that saying is wrong! The stars promise learning opportunities in quantity for mentors, preceptors, ‘buddys’ and other supervisory types.

Pisces

Pisces wins the week! Your stars are in alignment. Everything you touch will turn to gold…well, actually, that didn’t work out too well for King Midas. Maybe every patient you touch will turn into a grateful, compliant, relatively self-sufficient decent human being. That’s only slightly less likely than the gold thing, right?

Aries

Given the opportunity, miracles could happen this week. Failing that, I heard there’s good cake in the cafeteria.

Taurus

Taurus has a week of challenges ahead. Fortunately, some of that famed Taurus determination will kick in and get you through the worst of it. That, or judicious use of sick time…

Gemini

Anticipation can be a positive emotion — you can look forward to the end of your shift — or a negative one, where you dread discovering exactly what those noises coming from in the next room means. This week you’ll have to choose, Gemini, but pick carefully…the immediate choice is seldom the best.

Cancer

Connections are important, as romance and family dominate your charts. That being said, don’t overlook the value of connecting the 02 to the mask, the monitor plug to the outlet, things like that!

Leo

If you want to make your NM laugh, just tell her you have plans.

Virgo

Once upon a time, Virgo, you dreamed of working in a laboratory, test tubes and beakers, solutions bubbling over the bunsen burner, the whole bit. That analytic passion will serve you well this week…or will get you drafted to pinch hit for stressed out pharm techs!

Libra

It’s not magic, just your natural skills and talents at work, Libra. But you don’t have to let THEM know that!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Scorpio

You’ve heard of vicarious trauma? Now’s the time to explore vicarious joy, Scorpio. Turn those keen eavesdropping skills on in search of the joy — and give yourself permission to laugh at other people’s jokes, smile at their stories, and so on. (Okay, you can be subtle about it…this time.)

Sagittarius

Communication troubles occupy Sagittarius this week. Some hospitals are moving toward distributing iPhones to make in facility communication easier, but not yours. Nope, you lucky thing! Your administrator saw the promo for “The Men Who Stare At Goats”, thought it was a documentary, and ordered you all to begin developing your psychic communication skills! Good luck!

Capricorn

It’s hard to tell who’s feeling worse this week, your colleagues or your patients! We understand you’re trying to stay healthy, Capricorn, but setting up isolation protocols at the nursing station is sure to ruffle some feathers.

Aquarius

Document, document, document. If it all turns out to be unnecessary, you’ll have improved your typing skills. And if it is necessary, well, you’ll be glad you had it written down.

Pisces

Joy is to be found in the small moments this week, Pisces. The way a patient squinches up their face when you stick them…it’s exactly how they’ll look when they’re 110! Stuff like that. Enjoy them.

Aries

This week, you will once again refrain from strangling the co-worker who remarks it would be nice if someone did something about keeping the unit tidy for a change. And this is good karma, which is all that will save you from tripping face first over someone’s trash and breaking your nose. Congratulations!

Taurus

Your stars show that you’ll leave one little scrap of paper maybe on the floor and someone who can’t be bothered to watch where they’re going will trip on it and all kinds of drama will result. Unless, of course, you could distract them BEFORE they trip and avoid the entire accident. Maybe it would be wise to engage them in some sort of activity — maybe straightening up the unit?

Gemini

A clean desk is a sign of an untidy mind. Gemini revels in the creative clutter of the workplace this week, a veritable productive flutter of charts and orders and restocked supply cabinets. That is, of course, until the second hour of the workweek. It’s all down hill from there, we’re afraid.

Cancer

Supportive family members are great. That way, when Granny decides to take a leap up out of bed, do an Olympic-worthy dive, and start heading for the floor, they can catch her! This week will be an exercise in seeing the positive.

Leo

Attention loving Leo will enjoy this week, where every patient has their finger permanently pressing on the call button, every caller wants to know how “Mom” is doing, every order needs clarification and there’s a doctor with lots of Very Important Questions that have to be answered STAT!

Virgo

You will encounter unexpected hostility today, Virgo; remain calm and stick to your guns. It might take some doing to convince your drug seeking patient that you gave them their meds or your insistent visiting family that Grandma really *doesn’t* need to get up and stretch her legs — but you can do it, and you’ll carry the day!

Libra

Never underestimate the power of one well-placed whoopie cushion to improve a unit meeting.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Scorpio

Flexibility and nerves of steel are required to handle the many changes that surround you this week, Scorpio! We know how much you “LOVE” change — but look on the bright side: H1N1 inspired visitor restrictions cut down on the number of annoying family members you have to tolerate!

Sagittarius

The nursing shortage occupies your attention Sagittarius — whether it’s an attempt to discern why you can’t find a job or how the winners who work on your unit DID!

Capricorn

Administration-type experts have decided the best way to alleviate pandemic-induced stress is to offer nursing staff the opportunity to attend classes and complete stress-management exercises — in other words, more work! Don’t be surprised when the powers that be reveal themselves less than enthusiastic about your alternate plan of playing paintball in radiology.

Aquarius

Projectile vomit? No problem. Slimy diarrhea explosion just before you sit down to your lunch of chili and beans? You don’t even blink. But the news that Kate Gosselin is planning on returning to nursing since the whole TV thing isn’t working out so well? It’s enough to make a nurse queasy — good luck holding onto that lunch!

Pisces

Frustrations melt away when you discover the secret to getting everything done: just ignore all those pesky patients with their codes and medications and need for human contact, and you’ll find the paperwork practically does itself! Pisces struggles with time management this week, but don’t sweat it: you’re one nurse who DOES have their priorities in order!

Aries

A sweet outlook on life makes the days fly by, Aries…but you’ll want to test your blood sugar and make sure that you’re fully oriented to reality at least a few times.

Taurus

Be open to possibilities, Taurus. Set aside your cynicism and pre-conceived notions. That way you can experience the delight of fresh discovery as humanity reveals its more — inventive — side of itself to you this week.

Gemini

If you’re getting ideas for NEXT Halloween’s costume from this morning’s admissions…well, points for creativity any way. This week your chart is full of inspiration and artistic endeavors. We just can’t guarantee that that particular wound really will look good in latex.

Cancer

If you are a psychiatric nurse, Cancer, nothing this week will seem the least bit unusual to you.

Leo

Interpersonal communications are difficult, Leo, but that has nothing on the problems you’ll have with monitors, pumps, computers and phones. You’ll begin to think it’s you, but it’s not…it’s just technology failing in the face of your magnetic personality!

Virgo

Hold onto your dreams and ideals, Virgo…they’re what keep you going in the face of drama, pathos, and administration initiatives. Well, that, and watching out for slippery surprises on the floor!

Libra

Given the chance, Libra, where would you go and what would you do? Don’t be afraid to dream big: this week holds the potential to make life-changing decisions! Or, barring that, there’s a pretty good payout on the state lottery…

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Libra

It’s a very fertile time for Libra, which could mean creativity and inspiration abound. It could also mean something else, which your L&D colleagues could clue you in on. Contrary to popular belief, not everything is contagious!

Scorpio

Short-tempered Scorpio will have a rough time this week, as all of your patients have received extensive medical training from Oprah’s Dr. Oz and know from obsessive watching of Scrubs what life in the hospital is SUPPOSED to be like. Relief arrives as season premieres give way to reruns.

Sagittarius

End of the world fervor makes your normally calm, sedentary unit a little more chaotic than usual. Point out that the Mayans have predictions right up to the year 4870 and see the waters calm. (This strategy has the added benefit of being true!)

Capricorn

Yes, it is tempting — but calling in a search and rescue team for the doctor who doesn’t return his pages is a bit over the top. Wait another fifteen minutes just to be sure before you call!

Aquarius

A long-lost acquaintance will turn up in a surprising situation. This may be uncomfortable, but professionalism will carry the day. Sudden onset amnesia might make both of you more comfortable!

Pisces

Animals abound in your chart, Pisces, so be ready! You might have a patient who insists that their companion chimpanzee helps with chronic depression or an emergency admit who brings some little buddies along for the ride. It’s hard to tell from here — but after Wednesday, you’ll know!

Aries

Have compassion for the new nurses, Aries. You were young once too, and needed help. You may be more intimidating than you realize. Offer assistance: it will be gratefully accepted.

Taurus

Time away from the job reveals unexpected surprises: food can be served (and consumed!) while hot! Bathrooms can be accessed when needed, without several hours delay! Revel in these discoveries — but don’t try to tell anyone at work, they’ll never believe you.

Gemini

Conversations surrounding immunizations are likely to grow a little pointed; sidestep the sharp language and let others needle each other. You don’t need the aggravation this week!

Cancer

Doctors are examining a new condition during which nurses develop an inability to hear their phone ring when they’re away from the job. Volunteering for the study might provide some extra income, but likely won’t smooth any thing over with your NM; decide wisely!

Leo

Seeking creative challenges, Leo may find themselves open to a new hobby. Try figuring out what your patient’s tattoos are supposed to be — or once were!

Virgo

When your patient tells you their profession is Medical Marijuana reviewer and they have a long and convenient list of medical allergies, it’s hard not to be cynical. Don’t beat up on yourself too much for lost naivete: it’s probably the last place you left it!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Libra

Lucky Libra has a fantastic week lined up. The stars are shining in your favor! Be open to new, exciting opportunities — but pass on that once-in-a-lifetime chance your patient offers you to get in on the ground floor of a promising investment opportunity.

Scorpio

Having the swine flu shot may be followed by miscarriage, death, or stroke — and guess who gets the lucky job of explaining to the patients that yes, they still need the shot, and no, all these after effects aren’t necessarily connected to it? It won’t be you if you’re smart about it, Scorpio — we suggest a conveniently timed code far, far away from that conversation.

Sagittarius

Conflict with co-workers makes this a challenging week. Maintaining professionalism is hard; resisting temptation when you google the worst offenders and find out what they’re doing when they’re not at work is even harder. Be careful what you research; you may find out more than you want to know.

Capricorn

Order and organization are your watchwords this week, Capricorn. Either you’re going to impose some on your life or someone’s going to impose some for you. The results are surprisingly refreshing; a change of this sort has been needed for a while.

Aquarius

Love is a many splendored thing, Aquarius — and stepping into that semi-private room at the wrong moment will reveal splendors you never needed to think about. We recommend knocking at all costs!

Pisces

Animals abound in your chart: we’re not sure if that means you’ll be treating animal bites and entertaining companion dogs in the waiting room or a trip to the zoo is in your immediate future…oh, wait. You’re a nurse! Every day is like a trip to the zoo!

Aries

Low tech is the new rage in body building, Aries — you could cash in on the trend by having the PT/OT crew have their patients carry your bag to the car at the end of the shift. What does that thing weigh? 800 pounds? It might be time to lighten up!

Taurus

Patience is a virtue, and apparently there are no virtuous people in the waiting room. This week, that could prove problematic — but if you choose to embrace the positive side of the situation, think of all the money you’ll save by not having to buy tickets to Cirque du Soliel — or Roller Derby — or the taping of the next Jerry Springer movie. You have it all, delivered to your workplace. (Ok, the costuming is a little lacking…)

Gemini

You provide some much needed guidance and relief in an unexpected manner this week. Don’t be so hard on yourself: you have a ton of wisdom and this week, someone is ready to hear it.

Cancer

Job seekers have a stressful week ahead; those nurses already employed are likely to experience a great deal of anxiety. Fret not: it’s not you, it’s them — and if you can hang in there, the situation will look brighter by the end of the week.

Leo

Connections and networking are your strong suit this week, Leo. Only YOU know the magic dialing sequence to make the pharmacy pick up the phone. Only YOU can get the doctor to respond to the page. Only YOU can persuade Mrs. Jones in bed six that she’ll develop inoperable carpal tunnel if she doesn’t leave hold of that call light. Enjoy these mad communication skills: by week’s end, you’ll be all talked out!

Virgo

Delight in small blessings this week, Virgo. A spare two minutes to run to the bathroom? Someone else got called in before you? A patient who says “Thank you” All of these glories might be yours — are you ready to appreciate them?

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!

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