Journal of Nursing Jocularity

A young boy was brought into the dental practice where I work. Overall, his exam was good, but he did have a cavity that needed attention. We explained this to his mother, along with what the options were, but she wanted to give her son a role in the decision making process.

So very patiently, she explained to him that he had a hole in his tooth and it needed to be filled. “What would you like it to be filled with?”

Our patient thought about this very seriously before announcing he’d like “Chocolate, please!”

Contributed by Carol Z, Missouri

To encourage patients to take deep breaths after surgery, nurses or respiratory therapists will teach the patient to use inspirometers. Several years ago, a popular model included a chamber with three plastic balls, which, when the patient blew into the mouthpiece hard enough, would rise to the top of the chamber.

The young male respiratory therapist had been working with 85-year-old Mrs. M every hour. She was growing weary. As he entered the room for the ninth time, the patient announced: “Looky here, sonny! You can just blow your own balls!”

Quote from Patty Wooten, RN

My father in law, who was dying of brain cancer, came home from a hospital stay. It was his and my mother in law’s anniversary so I suggested they invite a few friends over for dinner…

Jimmy managed to get out of bed to join us. The strain of feeding himself and the presence of guests were obviously tiring him. Knowing that he could not hear very well, my mother in law passed a note to me to give to him. I read it and got hysterical with laughter. She remembered what she wrote and laughed too.

The note read, “Happy Anniversary Dear. Do you want to go to bed?”

Jimmy read his wife’s note, looked across the table, and with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face said, “I would love to dear, but we have company!”

Quote from Allen Klein

The phone rings, and I pick it up to hear a man practically shouting. “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” I asked, getting ready to let the team know we’ve got a Mom-to-be coming in.

“No, you idiot!” he shouted at me. “This is her husband!”

Submitted anonymously from “The best OB practice in Texas!”

From Dr. Pat Raymond:

One of my fellow physicians told me about her granny — who they could only get to take her fiber supplements if allowed to mix it with gin and tonic water.

I expressed concerned that it would gel up into and undrinkable mess.

“No, s’okay”, my buddy claimed, “Granny likes them, she calls them her ‘geriatric jell-o® shooters’!”

A cowboy wandered into a doctor’s office to complain of his sore legs.

“I think you have phlebitis,” said the doctor.

“Plebites! There aren’t no fleas on me!”

Contributed by Kimberly M. Goebert. Do you have a favorite medical joke? Send it to Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com and we’ll share it with everyone!