Tag Archives: Joke of the day

Being Med Compliant CAN Hurt You!

Posted on February 16, 2009 by admin

Jack: “My brother was sick and went to the doctor.” John: “Is he feeling better now?” Jack: “No, he has a broken arm.” John: “How did he break it?” Jack: “Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him … Continue reading →

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So Much for the Golf Game

Posted on February 3, 2009 by admin

On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient’s condition. “This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able … Continue reading →

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Some Things Never Die

Posted on February 2, 2009 by admin

I had a patient who was a 106-year-old character. One day I asked her, “Ms. Jones, how old were you when you stopped enjoying sex?” She replied, “I don’t know, honey! You’ll need to ask someone older than me!” from … Continue reading →

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What Do You Say?

Posted on January 29, 2009 by admin

A NP was examining his patient, an elderly woman who couldn’t hear very well. Pressing his stethoscope to her chest, he smiled and said, “Big breaths.” She sighed and said, “Well, they used to be!”

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The Psychic Radiologist

Posted on January 28, 2009 by admin

I was unable to remove my jewelry for a chest x-ray because I had IVs in both arms. When the radiologist read the x-ray, he announced to the staff present, “This patient is a nurse!” He floored them…but he didn’t … Continue reading →

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Feeling Thirsty?

Posted on January 27, 2009 by admin

The nurse brought a lunch tray to Norman Cousins, who was in a hospital “laughing his way to wellness.” The nurse also brought Mr. Cousins one of those glasses used for urine specimens, saying that when convenient he should put … Continue reading →

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He’s Got A Point

Posted on January 26, 2009 by admin

When admitting a paranoid, delusional man to our psych unit, I apologized to him before I asked, “Are you heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual?” The patient got very upset and said, “Didn’t you hear me before?  I’m a virgin.  I don’t … Continue reading →

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Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse

Posted on January 22, 2009 by admin

1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren’t as good. 2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms. 3) Needles: “Tis better to give than receive” 4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops…eventually. 5) Expose yourself to rare, … Continue reading →

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Mystery Solved!

Posted on January 21, 2009 by admin

Q:  Why do surgeons wear gloves while operating? A: So they won’t leave any fingerprints!

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Don’t Panic!

Posted on December 31, 2008 by admin

During a recent fire drill, I was closing doors to patient rooms.  An 86 year old patient was talking on the phone when I reached her room.  As I started to shut her door, she asked, “What’s that ringing noise?” … Continue reading →

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