As a student, I was assigned to a patient: after a bed bath, it was time to get her out of bed. Try as I might, I could only find her right shoe. A fellow student who walked into the room found me on all fours, looking under the bed for the elusive second shoe.
I told her what I was doing, and then it hit me. The patient had a left AKA!
By Amy Nemetz
All around the world today, from the largest symphony halls to the smallest chambers for chamber music, there was much rejoicing! A terrible medical scourge, long the dread of the woodwind section, has been terrorizing musicians for years — but no longer!
What is this dreaded disease? What foul ailment makes musicians quake with fear? (more…)
On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient’s condition. “This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exacty.” The doctor then began listing orders: (more…)
I had a patient who was a 106-year-old character. One day I asked her, “Ms. Jones, how old were you when you stopped enjoying sex?”
She replied, “I don’t know, honey! You’ll need to ask someone older than me!”
from Renee Pope, RN
I was unable to remove my jewelry for a chest x-ray because I had IVs in both arms. When the radiologist read the x-ray, he announced to the staff present, “This patient is a nurse!”
He floored them…but he didn’t have ESP. My caduceus pendant showed up beautifully on the chest film ;-)
Q: Why do surgeons wear gloves while operating?
A: So they won’t leave any fingerprints!
A nurse catches her physician in the hallway at the hospital and says, “Doctor! I need you to help me! Every time I go to the bathroom, dimes come out!”
The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and touch base with him in a week.
A week later, the nurse returns to work, bumps into the doctor and says, “Doctor, it’s getting worse! Every time I go to the bathroom, quarters come out! What’s wrong with me?”
Again, the doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and look him up in a week.
Another week passes and the nurse returns to work. She hunts the doctor down, grabs his arms, and says, “Listen, doc! I’m still not getting better! Every time I go to the bathroom, half-dollars come out! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WIH ME?!”
The doctor says, “Relax, you’re just going through the change!”